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My wife was adamant about doing hypno birthing, and it nearly cost us our marriage when I told her it was a crock of shit designed to extract money from anxious moms-to-be (in much nicer words). They sell the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this same “your body is designed to not feel the pain” schlock. Thirty hours into labor, with zero baby movement, she caved and got her water manually broken and opted for the epidural. She took a nap, and 4 hours later they came in to check, said the baby is basically here, she pushed for 15 minutes and we had a kid. That doesn’t make any sense. So God creates the pain but then also creates receptors to block the pain. Then why create the pain in the first place? The literal fucking Bible says that women will endure pain during childbirth as a result of the “original sin” of Eve disobeying God and eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Doped up or not, childbirth is not fucking fun.

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No, your body realizes chemical that help you forget the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this pain of childbirth, you still feel all of it. Because god loves you. Childbirth is gonna hurt. Go into the process with that fact and do whatever you’d like with it, whether it be breathing, stretches*, drugs, whatever. *-A local meteorologist delivered naturally and did all sorts of exercises to get through the contractions. Badass. I’m old and when I had my 3 they didn’t have epidurals, you could get a spinal but not until 10cm, to push. So basically natural childbirth. For me and almost everyone I knew up until they started giving epidurals at 4-5 cm dilated we all basically said the contractions up until 5 cm were like really bad menstrual cramps. Once they started doing epidurals at 4-5cm everyone started saying how horrible the contractions were before they got the epidurals. It makes me wonder if so much of this is perception of pain based on comparison. For those of us years ago, we went through 5-10 centimeters with nothing. I can tell you that 8-10cm is objectively about 4-5 dx worse than 4 cm. Your entire body has a Will of its own and every nerve and muscle is literally agonized trying together the head to and through the cervix. You almost go into a fugue state so that once it’s over you can remember how brutal it was realistically but your brain kind of blocks your bodies memory of it.
Since epidurals wimen have no experience of 5-10 cm so in their minds 1-4 cm is the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this worst pain they’ve ever had while to us it was pretty much a breeze. I can’t think of any other reason there’s such a disparity in women’s experience of pain. My wife was too late for the epidural and had to tough it out, no drugs. I have never felt like less of a man, watching her go through that pain and knowing deep in my balls that she was experiencing something that I could never withstand. Ever since, I have taken grim pleasure in slapping down any unthinking expectant father who mindlessly holds forth on how well he’d endure extruding a small yet priceless watermelon through his nethers. Dude, just stfu and grab those ice chips. You are outclassed in every way.

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I’m one of six kids… My Mom had all of us at home with a midwife…zero epidural, zero meds. My Dad described her once as having moments during the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this births where she was just in so much pain that it was like the word pain no longer had meaning to her. It was just some otherworld she went into in her mind where she could feel the grip of death itself while still alive, tell death and everyone to go fuck themselves, push the kid out, and then when it was done she would look over at him and demand to hold her baby and holy shit did he bring the child to her fast, because he had literally never seen such toughness. also, if she’s in the US, the pain wont necessarily come from the physical birth of the baby, but the thousands in medical bills that will try to bankrupt her, depending on her ability to pay. God’s brilliant design for childbirth indeed.
My coworker said she wasn’t scared for the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this labor of her first child, but he was terrified during her second child because she knew what was coming. She told me that while I was 8 months pregnant. Brain sure didn’t block the pain… Hahahahahaha if I had said this to my wife, she would have stabbed me in the spine so I could feel a 10th of what she went through (30 hours of backlabor good fucking luck doing that without drugs) TL:DR Humans are almost uniquely bad at childbirth, due to our evolution, our pelvis is the wrong way round, and our heads are too big. The two main evolutionary advantages we had were our ability to run efficiently, and our ability to problem solve, they were very effective advantages, and so they had a very rapid effect on our physiology. We went from quadrupedal to upright, and our heads grew.
Unfortunately both of those are very bad for a child birth. You now have a pelvis that is facing the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this wrong way, it’s trying to accommodate two large legs, and all the structural scaffolding they come with, as well as a pelvic opening large enough to accommodate the largest head to body ratio in nature. Now yes, we do have some physiological accommodations for childbirth, but they are half measures at best, ironically our best adaptation is our brain, midwifery/obstetrics is maybe the oldest form of medicine, with evidence going back at least 40000 years, probably longer. I wonder if this is the sister from the AITA post from today about calling their sister an idiot for believing she was going to experience a pain free childbirth because god “chose her”. Honey, the body isn’t designed for pregnancy. The fetus hijacks the body and redirects nutrients to itself. That’s how pregnancy works.
The main issue is that human heads have evolved to be larger over time due to intelligence. A babies head is barely small enough to pass through the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this pelvis, sometimes it can’t, which is why C sections are common. Humans also have some of the highest mother mortality rates because their pregnancy is more dangerous than other animals. I saw somewhere (so I’m sure it’s dead accurate ) that human babies are some of the most helpless newborns in the animal world. Partially because as we evolved to walking upright the pelvis shape changed, meaning babies had to become smaller in order to pass. Ive read that it has to do with the size of our brains. For the baby to fully develop in the womb, its brain would need to be larger and therefore less likely to pass through the birth canal without major complication. It is still a bad design, but a better compromise than fully cookin I realize it is probably just a word choice, but there was no “design” for the human body. Evolution doesn’t work that way. Think of it more as just endless trial and error and some things work better than others. Zero forethought.
It’s true. Like ever seen a newborn horse? That thing is up and running around in a matter of hours. We can’t get on our feet for a year or more. The fetus is a literal parasite that will take anything it needs long before the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this mother gets nutrients. And then your cute little parasite is born and does so for the rest of your life. POV: you’re panicking about how painful your ‘getting hit in the head with a sledgehammer’ is going to feel. But then you remember your imaginary friend’s perfect design for pain neurons during ‘getting hit in the head with a sledgehammer.” A woman giving birth has one foot on the grave because it exceeds (5x iirc) the normal pain threshold for a human. Other labor departments would be inhumane enough not to give a woman an epidural because it prolongs labor which is a strain on the hcw.
Don’t they specifically mention when Adam and Eve are ejected from Eden that now childbirth will hurt for all women as punishment for original sin. I’m pretty sure I distinctly remember that being a thing in the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this bible… I mean… Going by Bible – childbirth is literally a punishment by God. It’s not meant to be a pleasant experience. Relying on pain relief from the same god that sent his son to get tortured and murdered to prove his love for us. I mean she’s not entirely wrong, womens bodies do try to do what they can to block the pain with hormones, but your brain simply isn’t going to release enough chemicals to block even half of that shit unless you’re literally about to die. “To the woman he said, ‘I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.’ She’ll be screaming for Jesus when she’s pushing out a football through her little doozie, especially if she gets an episiotomy. Doesn’t help that woman are forced to give birth in an unnatural position. You’re not supposed to lie down while you do it I’m pretty sure what she’s describing is just blacking out under extreme pain. And you can’t push while you’re blacked out.
If by her saying “God’s brilliant design for child birth and realize your body was designed to block pain receptors during labor,” means she wants the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this epidural and gives thanks to those medical professionals that develop medicine day in and day out then yes shes totally right. It’s not like there are thousands of years of documentation that labor is very painful and can be very dangerous but God is gonna hook her up. From my understanding your brain sorta does this but it doesn’t block the pain but lessens your emotional response to your memories of it after the fact. Your brain doesn’t bail you out during. No it’s designed for you to forget about how bad it was after the fact, during the process it’s pretty horrible
“God’s brilliant design for childbirth” pretty sure God told Adam and Eve that childbearing would be painful because of sin. God: “My plan was to send you the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this best anaesthesiologist in town, with a divine design educating them with the lessons from millenia of human progress, and set them up with the most advanced tools development over the history of humankind,. Heck I even lined up a great insurance plan for you. But your choice, Madeline, you’ve got free will and tiktok.” I feel sadness for all of those poor sods that find comfort in harmful characters like this. Your intellect failed you. Ironically the human biology for giving birth is terrible. Cat Bohannon wrote a great piece/book/has done podcasts on this.
As a dude, I was pretty horrified to listen to her describe how poorly our body has evolved to give birth. I think she described it as trying to shove a melon through a lemon. It’s awesome to go in confidently. Hope for the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this best, plan for the worst maybe wind up somewhere in the middle. 2,128 more repliesYeah…. I threw in the towel at 4 cm during induction. Before that, I was in labor and it felt like someone had a knife in my back. Yeah labor hurts. Nothing scarier than that 1st contraction. Knowing you can’t go back, the pain just gets worse. After our stubborn first born kept her in labor with painful contractions for well over 24 hours she begged for an epidural. She fell asleep for 5 hours, woke up, and delivered our boy 20 mins later without issue. Even the supposed words and story (bible) of her supposed “god” mentions how bad the pain of labor is and that those pains, along with all the fun that periods bring, is all because Eve listened to the “serpent” (Satan). That fool doesn’t even know the story of the faith she follows. That’s hilarious Look, believe in a god/s if you want, but anything that starts with, “God’s design” about the human body is totally buffoonery every time. He couldn’t even get the backbone right. Or oh, did you know why human infants are so helpess and human labor is so painful? Because of the large brain size/head size compared to the mother’s walking-upright pelvis size, human babies are developmentally immature. Some scientists conclude we’re all premies because otherwise we’d tend to die and/or kill our mothers (with a natural birth)*. Compare a horse than can stand in minutes and a human baby that’s a screaming blob for 6 months. Tl;dr: Intelligent Design my ass. There may be a God but he wasn’t designing humans. Must have got distracted and spent all his time on fractals.
She seems to have forgotten about the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this very first book of the bible which describes the idea that childbirth became incredibly painful as a result of the curse put over humanity and the earth due to the first sin. I still remember the ungodly noises my partner made during labour, like a demonic beastial groans and screams. The movies are all a lie. Friends and family are the greatest deceivers , probably doing their part for humanity because people wouldn’t have children otherwise. I still remember when the midwife asked me to put pressure on my partners side, and I felt the tightest strongest waves of muscles contracting repeatedly..any who goes through that is a fucking hero. It was a huge eye opener.
I remember an old OBGYN responding to mothers when they said “I’ve got a birth plan”. He’d say “ But has the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this baby read it, because it’s the one in control” Lul, she’s in for a ride but she won’t remember it, because forgetting the pain AFTERWARDS is the actual miracle I mean, wasn’t painful childbirth one of God’s punishments for Eve eating the apple? That’s God’s brilliant design for childbirth. Actually, that’s consistent with his plan to make humans unworthy of heaven so he could sacrifice himself to himself to save us. POV: Every goddamn social post starts with “POV:” these days and seriously you can all fuck all the way off forever for doing this. So I recall back in the day when I had attended a human sexuality class at a certain community college in Mesa, AZ , the professor had also echoed the same opinion as this girl, that childbirth and labor were actually not painful, that majority of women who elected to take the epidural did not need it, and in fact it was mostly medical propaganda and a placebo effect that women felt they experience any pain during childbirth at all. I’m not sure if this woman is still working for said community college, but just goes to show this type of disinformation is rampant, and I’m not going to lie I’ve asked multiple women this since, because as a man I couldn’t gauge the validity of the statement on my own…ish left me confused for years smh My girlfriends eyes rolled to the back of her head from the pain & she was doped up like she was on a San Francisco street
If that was true, I think some of the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this other 8 billion odd humans would have caught on centuries before “@mommamadeline” ever figured it out. Hahaha . My sister in law was going to do a natural child birth “guided by god”…she took the epidural almost instantly I threw up and shit myself giving birth because it hurt so much. I wish I could see her face in delivery. It would be marvelous. My wife gave birth to my daughter with nothing. Blew my mind. When I asked if it hurt and if she would opt out of drugs again and she said how would you like breaking every bone in your body a second time and not have nothing to ease the pain. Well then just about every woman’s body is defective and god needs to do a recall and provide a software update. She isn’t stupid, she is selling her shitty “labor coach” courses. It’s snake oil. She doesn’t really believe that you can have a birth without pain, she’s just exploiting moms who are scared to give birth and want someone to tell them that it won’t hurt if you do XYZ andwhen, in reality, labor sucks no matter what. It’s easier for some, harder for others, but always unpleasant for everyone. That’s why it’s called LABOR. The actual design it’s that it makes you forget about the pain after so you do it again, gods brilliant design be like gotcha again bicth God’s plan is actually to block the pain from reaching your memory cells, so that you forget how painful t was to give birth, so that you consider doing it again one day.
But “scientists” interfered with God’s plan and now it’s only 1 out of every 5,000 births, and usually it’s because a mother turns down care (poor, Jehova Witness, etc.). As someone in chronic pain, pain is not a gift. From anyone. Only someone who has never had severe pain could think that. In her lore, wasn’t it god that made childbirth painful in the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this first place as punishment for…something? Eve learning to read or something like that? I mean… if god has to be involved, he created scientists who were smart enough to make epidurals that tell your body to block pain receptors. OMG My mother in law, a raging hippy, said that when she was pregnant with my husband, her first baby, she read a book about how if you just let labor happen it is actually like an orgasm. She was expecting an orgasm. What she got was 38 hours of labor, a 9 lb 11oz baby, a retained placenta and a one way ticket to the ER because she was hemorrhaging to death. Everyone was fine in the end. But she didn’t entertain the idea of a pain-free labor after that. I’m so confused by these people. Do they just think the billions of women who have given birth before them were all lying about the pain, orrrr??? Remember, this is the same god that says his own son has to be tortured and killed before he will forgive you of all the wrong things you haven’t even done yet. God’s plan is so brilliant that almost half of children born before the age of modern medicine died before the age of 5 and even now, one of the the leading causes of death in women under 25 is childbirth/pregnancy complications. Seems like God is still figuring things out.
Yup, totally why my BFF nearly bled out and neaded 8L of donor blood. ‘Design’, sure. Fuck your sky daddy; and if you ever see him, send him over cause I’d like to say some choice words to that fucker. Anybody tell her about “…and in pain will she bear her children..” You know- payback for knowing about good & evil. The reason many religions have suppressed, raped, impregnated and murdered us ever since. Over a fairy tale. And the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this dr said “she has to wait in the parking lot until she’s about to die because I’m not losing my license over this.” My mum gave life to 3 children and always says how she would rather have another child than getting another root canal treatment at the dentist. Nature does make sure that you won’t look back on Labour too realistically. You are supposed to have more than one child so hormones make you forget all that pain. Which doesn’t mean that it’s not there or that childbirth can’t be hell. Agree with your mom. I’ve had migraines that hurt more than giving birth. And I’d almost go through it for the endorphin surge; best I’ve ever felt. If you believe in the biblical god, that makes sense. Reminder that particular god chose to make childbirth painful as a punishment for eating fruit that he made available… Some of the funkier christian sects don’t allow for adherents to be seen by medical professionals, or to take synthetic medicines.
Epidurals are for atheists! Stay true to your faith! Also as an atheist I am willing to bite the Marcelo Mayer Boston Red Sox MLB baseball Mayer up shirt In addition,I will do this bullet and take any other pain meds they offer you, so you can bask in gods plan. I mean, just the logic…if God’s brilliant design blocks all pain from labor, how would it ever get a reputation for being painful in the first place? People generally don’t commonly claim massive debilitating pain from things that virtually nobody finds painful. ”I’d wash my hands to get rid of germs, but it just aches so bad when I do that, it’s a shame that something so beneficial is so painful” ”Eating, man, I dunno, I know we need to do it to live but we all just end up curled on the floor in agony with every bite, it sucks”

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